Where’s the P in all this, you may wonder?
In Pamela Anderson, that’s where. If you’ve watched Borat you’ll understand. If not, I can’t explain, that would spoil the movie. But trust me, that’s where the P comes from.
I hate having to go alone!
That’s what a friend of mine said this weekend. She hates Christmas because she has to drive alone, two hours, to her daughter to spend Christmas with her, the hubby and the cute little kids. “I just hate being there alone too.”
Gee, how can you set yourself up for something like that? By focusing on it, I think. By focusing on what you don’t have. A partner. A lover. A partner is not necessarily always a lover (god, don’t I know it!). So people like my friend hate December because they focus on the fact that they’re alone, whereas they’re not really. My sister’s the same. Plenty of things to do and company to be with, but hates this time of year. Both these women would prefer to have a steady, loving partner, which is what makes them hate the whole thing. Is it just my imagination or are they wallowing in self-pity?
I love being alone
But not all the time. I like people too, just not as often as my sister and my friend. I feel I am lucky in that. I can happily potter around on my own for five days and then I may start to long for human company (I always have animal company, so I am never alone in that sense. However, I’m well aware of the fact that they – nor my great love for nature – can sustain me when it comes to having a fulfilling, stimulating life).
It’s my Xmas and I rejoice if I want to
I don’t make a fuss of not having company this time of year. I could have had, twice over. Some months ago my sister said this: “I’ll come and stay with you if you want me to. I’ve been going to Paul for eight years for his Christmas Eve dinner with friends, but I’ll come to you if you want.”
Chris’almighty! How’s that for an unsolicited sacrifice? I passed. I hate it with a passion if people do things for me because they take pity on me.
The Christmas company fallacy
Having company doesn’t mean you don’t feel lonely or downright awful.
What are you doing this Christmas?
People ask, don’t they? They ask you whether you’re single or have a family, I suppose. But if you are single and hate it as well as the time of year, that sure is one shitty question to be asked, I understand that.
The last few years, while I was stubbornly single, my standard answer has been (at my most matter-of-fact best): I’ll be cooking a chutney. Ain’t even lying. I like cooking a few chutneys this time of year because it’s a good time for gifting them and I have enough for many months to come. I’m no loner, but I’m also not one for imposed tradition. I shared supper with friends last week and in a few weeks’ time I’ll be hosting a dinner party. When I want to.
There’s always the net
These days, net-literate people never, ever have to be lonely. There are always like-minded people who spend hours on the net those days because almost everyone else is busy with (mandatory) Xmas do’s. Chat, play a game, always something interactive to do. If all else fails, one could always write a blog post.
Help others get what you want
To those who really can’t face the ‘aloneness’ around Xmas time, I’d suggest they spend time with someone who is also lonely. Perhaps as a volunteer. There are so many elderly and/or handicapped people out there who would welcome company.
It’s not even his real birthday
For what it’s worth, Christmas is celebrated on December 25/26 because it used to be the date of the pagans’ winter celebrations to spruce up the darkness. As new religions traditionally steal/stole dates for celebrations from old religions or philosophies, that is why those dates were chosen to celebrate J.C.’s birthday (a.k.a. indoctrination/manipulation).
Celebrate the light!
If you’re in the northern hemisphere, each day is now getting a little more daylight all the way up to 21st June. If you’re in the southern hemisphere, heck, your days are long already. Reasons enough to celebrate. Take care, be good, have fun.